Not a dream ...

2011-12-19T09:04:00.001-08:00

Rindu------Dicelah sang hati yang membakar pijarKu cari setitik tenang, sesudu dinginBerbekal hamparan zikrullah usangYang sudah berzaman tidak ku hamparMungkin api diri membakar sombongMeluap menyala membakar zamanNah ini lah aku,datang kepada-Mu dengan hati yang rentung hitambersimpuh malu dihadapan MuMengharap agar air mata yang jarang tertumpah iniYa, air mata yang barang setitik dua iniMampu

2011-09-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

Bawalah ku pulang-----------------------Jika bisa ku racik merah-merah senjaAkan ambil buat selimutMenemankan aku di dingin malamSementara menanti panggilan IlahiWahai Tuhan Yang Maha Penyayang,Ini tanganku ini,Pimpinlah aku pulangWahai Tuhan,Di sini bukan rumahkuPanas bahang nya terik melukaManusia-manusianya tiada bermukaWahai Tuhan,Sudah tiada lagi ruang dibelakang ku iniMelainkan lebam

2011-03-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

Bersenja-senja di rumah Ilahi------------------------------------------bila bahu ini tak mampu lagimengusung beratnya bebanan duniamata ku merah dada ku sesakmenaggung resah mengatup bicarasudah tidak keruan diri ku inisiapalah yg akan peduliinsan kerdil ini yg tiada berpangkat tiada berpinggatyg ada cuma hati yg tenggelam tangisnya di celah riuh sibuk sang dunialalu ku bawa diribersenja senja di

2010-12-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

Jeritan======Kalau masih belum lagi aku jeritkanSegala jerih dan pedih hati iniMaka dengarkan lah wahai TuhanJeritanku iniYang hanya mampu aku teriakkandengan saratnya seeping hatidengan panasnya sang air matadengan gelengan gelengan sepi seorang hambaYang sesebak mana pun hatinyaBelum mampu lagi menjeritKerana sudah tentunyaManusia disekitarnya akan bersahaja menyuruhnya diamPendamkan sahaja

2009-05-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

Pengemis di serambi Tuhan====================Insan itu yang bernama MuhammadSemulia mulia insanBetapa menjadi kekasih TuhanBerjalannya ia dinaungi awanKelak di mahsyar nantiBetapa Tuhan tidak boleh melihat Muhammad memintaBelum pun dahi mencecah bumiBuat bersujud memohon syafaatSudah diperintahkan bangun oleh TuhanKerana doanya telah dimakbulkanItulah insan bernama MuhammadNamun sehebat-hebat

2008-12-06T09:35:00.000-08:00

Ini rasanya hati yang berkecai=====================Mungkin ini rasanyaBila hati mula berkecaiSudah berpurnama retak nya menjalarAku masih tidak percayaSampailah luluh kepingan hati, bersama air mataBaru ku sedar hati ini sudah mula hancurBaru ku rasa betapa sesaknya dada iniBaru ku endah, sejuknya pipi dek air mata yang pergiNamun sudah terlambat, hati ini sudah berkecaiMana mungkin ku ulang masa

2008-11-06T21:49:00.000-08:00

Lautan api========Keluk-keluk sungai deras ini sudah jadi biasaBau darah dan air mata yang bertatah di tebing-tebingnyaSudah jadi alpa di mataBatu-batu tajam menusuk meluka tiap inci kaki kecil iniSudah tidak terasa lagiSudah bertahun rasanya aku lalui sungai perit iniSehari demi sehari memandang sayup-sayup ke hadapanRasa-rasanya muara sungai sudah pun sampai.Dapatlah aku berehat buat

2008-09-29T07:58:00.001-07:00

Salju LebaranTika lebaran inimengapa saljunya lebih dingin?Mengapa anginnya lebih mencengkam?Mengapa hawanya lebih pedih?Mungkin kerana, tika iniSaljunya bernama rinduAnginnya bernama sepi Hawanya bernama sunyiLalu aku berteleku di permaidani empat wajah iniBersama simfoni takbirKu anyam jejurai mimpiKu sulam lebaran citaKu pintal bebenang sabarAgar dapat ku hampar selimut ketabahanBuat

2008-03-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

The first Monday after The RevolutionCall it the Malaysian revolution if you prefer but what happen last weekend was nononsense. It defines the very fabric of being a Malaysian. Here's a few of my take onthe election:Have we really transend the racial barrier?Johor is an Umno stronghold, not even when the whole Reformasi thing was everyMalaysian's favorite 'teh tarik topic' did the opposition

2008-02-10T20:57:00.000-08:00

Terkenang aku[Please listen to the music on the right when reading this poem]Terkenang aku,Seorang insan bernama Yahya,Ketika ia melarikan diriLalu bersembunyi di dalam pohon kayuBetapa zalim nya manusia yg pantas membelah pohon kayu ituKetika mata gergaji mula mengena kepala YahyaTidak dia berganjak walau seinci punBetapa tabahnya hati seorang insan bernama YahyaTerkenang aku,Seorang insan

2008-02-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

Temankan lah aku[Please play the music on the right while reading this poem]Mengalirnya darah masih tak kurangNafas ku terasa semakin hilang,Jantungku semakin berdebar kencangKu pejamkan mata mencari tenangRupanya seribu lagi musuh mendatangWahai Tuhan, bagaimana mungkin ku akan menang?Dicelah-celah air mata yang berlinangKupinta pada-Mu, temankan lah akuTemankan lah akuseperti mana kau temankan

2008-01-23T06:50:00.000-08:00

Nothing short of a miracleHave I prayed? Yes, oh God, I have prayedDo I really think this can work? Probably not, at least not in this lifeDo I know this is crazy? Yes i doAm I crazy? MaybeAm I stupid? Definitely notDo I want to follow my heart? Yes, oh God, yesShould I? I just can'tShould I give up? ProbablyCan I give up? I can't, I just don't let meIs this painful? Hell yes,Then why don't I

2008-01-21T23:10:00.000-08:00

Aku cuma insan biasaAku cuma insan biasaBukan tentera gagah perkasaMenanti musuh tak pernah putus asaWalau harapan hampir tiadaAku cuma insan biasaTerkadang hati kecil ini terasaApakah yang kurang perlu dipinta?Tak cukupkah sebuah senyum sedulang makna?Aku cuma insan biasaPunya batasan, punya air mataPunya perasaan kekadang tak terkataPunya hati yang boleh dilukaAku cuma insan biasaTak pernah

2008-01-18T01:11:00.000-08:00

Aku sediaWahai Tuhan,Kenal sangat aku kelibat ujian-MuAku tahu ia datang untuk mengukuhkan iman ku yang kian layuNamun ujian kali ini hancur luluh perit berdarah hati ku kernanyaWahai Tuhan,Jika mesti Kau retakkan hatikuKu pinta agar Kau tunggu sebentar,Biar ku pejamkan mata ini sekuat-kuatnyaBiar ku genggam tangan ini seerat-eratnyaBiar ku gentas bibir ini menahan bisaNah Tuhan, aku telah

2008-01-10T18:17:00.000-08:00

Sang Musim SaljuWahai unggas sang musim saljuDalam perjalanan mu mencari musim panasApatah sudi kau bawa sekali jerih perih di hati ku iniBuang ia sejauh mungkin,Jatuhkan ia ditengah lautanAtau tinggalkan sahaja diperjalananWahai dingin sang musim saljuSedingin dingin dirimuBeku dan retak lautan kerna saapan muTahukah kau, dingin lagi sunyi di jiwa ku iniTerkadang terjatuh aku melutut ke

2008-01-08T01:31:00.000-08:00

ThanksThank you for reading my poem t: btwt: sajak awk bestazrulhasni: ye ket: sy bc semlm pun ternangesazrulhasni: terharu la plak sayer

2008-01-06T21:52:00.000-08:00

Secebis kain buruk[Please listen to the music on your right while reading this ]Maafkan aku wahai mataKerana memaksa mu menahan tangisKu tahu sudah bermusim lamanya kau menahan sebakNamun, terkadang, pipi ini basah juaMaafkan aku wahai hatiKerana tak ku tahu ke mana hendak ku lepaskan jeritan muKu tahu deritamu setiap sapaan angin dingin bernama rinduKalaulah dunia ini tahu beban yang kau

2008-01-04T01:19:00.000-08:00

The power of responsibilityIn his book, the 7 habits of highly effective people, Stephen Covey dully define the word responsibility as "response+ability" or the ability to respond. Through the first habit, 'be proactive', Covey actually define the 'ability to respond' based solely on one's principles and not based outside factors. This is especially importat when we consider emotion: the emotion

2008-01-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

Islam dan motivasi untuk membaiki diriOrang Melayu tak cukup tamakItu antara frasa yang sering saya dengar sejak dibangku sekolah lagi. Orang Melayu, atas pengaruh Islam, tidak cukup tamak. Mereka cepat berpuas hati dengan apa yang mereka ada, tak tahu nak rasa tak cukup. Islam seringkali dipersalahkan kerana mengajar 'bersyukur' dan 'berpuas hari dengan nikmat yang ada' sehingga menyebabkan

2007-12-27T22:11:00.000-08:00

Pernah rasa macam sampah?Walau di puncak Sang KinabaluResminya tanah diinjak juaWalau mengaduh menjerit mendayuResminya sampah diketepi jua

2007-12-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

If you are good ...If you care about others but no one gives a crap about youIf you being affectionate but no one bothers to careIf you smile but no one smiles backIf you listen but no one hears your heart screamsIf you wipe tears but no one realises you are withholding yoursIf you offer your warmth but no one feels how cold and lonely you are insideIf you run to others' rescue but no one lift

2007-12-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

The past few months had been difficult for me. Read any of my past entry and you'll see how painful it has been. I feel like being a soldier in a battlefield. All my comrades had fallen, and while I'm still battling my pain and wounds, there, on the horizon another battalion of enemies ready to butcher me alive. Despite the fact that I have no chance of surviving this battle, I must not give up.

2007-12-17T00:30:00.000-08:00

How much do you believe in fantasy. If you ask me, not much... in fact, not at all even. I'm a pragmatist, I don't dwell in anything intangible. This is excatly the profile of Robert Philip (Patrick Dempsey's character) in he movie Enchanted.But what if one day, a miracle falls down on your lap (literally in case of Robert). What would you do? Refuse to see it? Well, that's what I did (and what

2007-12-16T23:26:00.001-08:00

Kerusi baldu di laman kitaMengkuang layu di laman orangKu sangkakan diri ada harganyaRupanya kain buruk di mata orang

2007-12-13T17:07:00.001-08:00

...aku takkan mungkin pulang [Please listen to the music while reading]Musuh terakhir ku tumpas jua. Betapa angin malam yang membelai medan perang ini terasa panas berbau darah. Ku lihat ke kanan dan ke kiri, tiada lagi teman yang berdiri, habis semua menyembah bumi. Ku pekik kan nama rakan seperjuangan, mengharap ada seorang dua yang masih bertahan, rupa baru aku sedar... di medan ini, aku kini

2007-12-11T20:03:00.001-08:00

Anak keli tercampak ke telagaAnak haruan dicelah batuLuka di jari nampak di mataLuka di hati siapa yang tahu

What is wrong with me?

2007-12-11T02:05:00.001-08:00

[Please listen to the music, Take a few deep breath before reading]What is wrong with me?All of a sudden I feel pain,Deep gnawing unforgiving pain.The pain is familiar but I haven't felt like this for a long time.It can't be true.I'm a grown man now, I have aged with time...And yet this pain make me fall to my knees.I try to stand up again, Every time I do, the pain would come crashing on

2007-12-10T15:31:00.001-08:00

Can't you tell?I was soaked from head to toeServes me right for running in the rainI just want to bring this flower to youAnd I'm not asking for more than a smileThe night is dark and windy and the candle is flickeringAnd here I am missing you so muchI make excuses to call just to see if you're fineI pray for you every chance I getI look into your eyes to see if I can read your mindPlease look at

2007-12-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

I never thought my poem could make people cryazrulhasni (12/7/2007 12:43:37 PM): sedey sangat ke sajak tuh?friend R (12/7/2007 12:43:51 PM): dh kuar air mata dah tadifriend R (12/7/2007 12:43:56 PM): naseb baek aircondfriend R (12/7/2007 12:44:01 PM): cepat keringRase rendah diri dan terharu la plak, anyway, thank you for all you support :)

2007-12-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

GRAFCET and resource state managementMy idea on using GRAFCET as a coordination language was quoted by an article on infoq by Jean-Jacques Dubray. The author made a very interesting remark about how services, resources and business processes are tied together: resources are modeled as business objects which states are mutated by services. These services are then tied together using business

2007-12-06T10:29:00.000-08:00

God, please take me homeHave you ever felt that the whole world is against you and yet you just can't give up, not now, not when you're so close, not with all the signs you've been seeing... and yet, it's so painful to stay.God, where am I? Please bring me home....

2007-12-06T09:49:00.001-08:00

Hati... [Please listen to the music while reading this]Wahai hati tenang lahSeperti tenangnya Ismail ketika pipinya mencecah batu penyembelihanKerana seperti Ismail, Tuhan akan menyelamatkan muKerana yakinlah Dia akan menggantikan nyawa mu dengan korban yang agungWahai hati tegarlahSetegar hati tentera Talut ketika kehausanNah dihadapan mereka seluas-luas sungai, namun Tuhan mengizinkan minum

2007-12-04T03:35:00.000-08:00

A cut is always deeper that it seems (sad ain't it)I had a cut on my finger at the office today. It was a fairly deep cut (right thought my finger joints). I was squirming in pain and the toilet sink was red with my blood by the time I finish cleaning the cut.I actually cut myself with a scissor while opening something I bought earlier. Blood were flowing and I quickly applied pressure on the cut

2007-12-02T22:35:00.000-08:00

a friend: i am now struggling with the lowest point in my life..a friend: so when i read your new entry..pedih itu pada yg memiliki..a friend: it really come to my senses..a friend: tqAlways glad to be able to help :)

2007-12-02T08:38:00.000-08:00

Open source - the Malaysian definitionA few years back, I went to this seminar conducted by one of the University here regarding open source (The real name of the university is not revealed to protect the innocent from raging open source fanboy-lunatics). There was one brochure that was interesting, it list out all the open source software made by the University, and they were a plenty. I

2007-12-02T06:59:00.000-08:00

munkin hidup ini perit supaya kita sentiasa rindukan syurga-Nya

2007-11-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

Pedih itu pada memilikiLast night I was reading Abg Has' blog about a father struggling to accept the fate of his son. [I suspect that the son is terminally ill ].I've been struggling for months now utk meredakan pedih di dada ni. Tetiba baru aku sedar, pedih perit and jerih ini rupanya hanya pada yang memiliki ... dan kita manusia sebenarnya tidak layak memiliki apa pun.Ini doa aku mlm tadi:"

2007-11-29T00:11:00.001-08:00

Ahahahahaha!!!!

2007-11-28T21:43:00.000-08:00

Decoupling BPM and messagingI was reading a post by John Reynolds asking why Java programmers hate BPM. The response from The Java community is mixed between "programmers don't hate BPM, they hate coding in XML" to BPM is a tool for managers, not programmers.Here's my own take on why programmers hate BPM. My answer is, programmers don't hate BPM< they hate BPEL due to its complexity. Now why is

2007-11-27T19:04:00.000-08:00

Feel like an idiotHave you ever feel like an idiotTrying your best at something when you know its hopelessGiving up everything just to keep that candle in your heart burn just a bit longerStanding up again after falling when all your bruises beg you to stay on the groundmaybe I am an idiot :(

2007-11-27T08:35:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me once: If God really exist why is there so much pain in the world. I didn't know what to answer then. I guess I do now. There's so much pain so that we remember that life is not forever... so don't get too attached to it. Further more, wouldn't pain make you closer to Him? :)

2007-11-26T06:46:00.000-08:00

Repost from 20019 Jan 2001 Today, at Laman MAP, i saw this one girl asking about what she should do becasue she got B instaed of A in Arabic (and all the rest is A). Well, I write to her about my story. Sorry it's in Malay : Assalamualaikum Dear adik sad_gurl Di sini ingin saya ceritakan sedikit anekdot untuk adik. Saya sendiri adalah seorang pelajar sekolah agama (Sekolah

2007-11-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

GRAFCET - The forgotten coordination languageI have been following with interest some of the papers and discussion regarding coordination languages in multicore/multithreaded applications [here and here ]. In short, the current model that we use to tackle concurrent programs, using thread, is badly flawed (due to nan-determinism). This would be amplified a thousand fold once multi-core

2007-11-25T22:54:00.001-08:00

A long overdue blog...A few moons ago, we organized a suprise farewell party for Liya and Cik Fa. (check my flickr page )

2007-11-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

One of the most frequent question people ask about aikido is this: Would aikido be useful in a street fight?Here's my answer: Well, unless you're a 4th or 5th dan, I really don't encourage you to get into a street fight with only an aikido. (maybe aikido plus a big iron rod ... but even then).But then again, how many times you get involved in a street fight? (Please quit reading if your answer

2007-11-24T20:19:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you feel down? when you just kneel to the forces of nature and can't get your feet off the ground? Well, one thing that I do is to remember what people said about me... Here's one:mmm believe me if i say he is the most nicest and sweet guy on earth!!!betul!!!he's so sweet and so shy too,masa sis gi sana we went to a lot of places laaa and i think he's such a good boy!

2007-11-21T19:04:00.000-08:00

Pain and lifeOne thing I love about aikido is how strikingly it describes how your body works and how that is, in fact, how life also works.In aikido, intertia signifies blockage of your chi energy. When there's inertia, you won't feel pain but, suddenly your arm could break or your neck could snap *gulp*. Aikido tries to unravel these blockages so that the chi would flow smoothly, as a result...

2007-11-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

I'm starting aikido again after...ooo i dunno, 5 years. I feels good to fly again

2007-11-19T06:49:00.000-08:00

God's test methodology 100. "O my Lord! Grant me a righteous (son)!" 101. So We gave him the good news of a forbearing son. 102. Then, when (the son) reached (the age of) (serious) work with him, he said: "O my son! I have seen in a vision that I offer thee in sacrifice: now see what is thy view!" (The son) said: "O my father! Do as thou art commanded: thou will find me, if Allah so wills,